I openly embrace the label of bad feminist.
I do so because I am flawed and human. I am not terribly well versed in feminist history. I am not as well read in key feminist texts as I would like to be. I have certain… interests and personality traits and opinions that may not fall in line with mainstream feminism, but I am still a feminist. I cannot tell you how freeing it has been to accept this about myself.
I wish everyone would read this book. I’d quote the whole thing at you if I could—I practically did over at my tumblr. Reading these essays was like sitting down with my best friend and having casual but heartfelt discussions about the problematic nature of pop culture and politics, or like delving into a series of the best blog posts ever written about feminism and entertainment.
But I don’t want to put Gay on a “Feminist Pedestal,” a position she intentionally tries to avoid by preemptively labelling herself as a bad feminist: “People who are placed on pedestals are expected to pose, perfectly. Then they get knocked off when they fuck it up. I regularly fuck it up. Consider me already knocked off.”
Regardless, Gay has a lot to say—about more than just feminism—and she says it well. In 38 essays about gender, sexuality, race, politics, entertainment, and her own life, Gay covers topics ranging from Scrabble to The Hunger Games to Chris Brown to The Help. She’s unapologetically candid in sharing her thoughts and experiences, even when it comes to opinions that might not be popular with all her readers (the chapter on trigger warnings comes to mind).
I’m sometimes nervous about reading nonfiction essays because I worry they’ll be tediously academic or filled with technical jargon, but the beautiful thing about Bad Feminist is that it’s so accessible. I hate to use such a cliché word, but it fits here. A lot of feminist texts might be daunting or turn readers off because they address the complex history of feminism and issues of sex and gender in such dry, scholarly language. That’s not to say those writers aren’t doing important work, but Gay shares her knowledge and experience in a way that turns a feminist text into an intimate reflection and conversation that anyone can join.
Part of the reason I loved Bad Feminist so much is because Gay puts into words everything I’ve felt about sexism in media and politics (see the chapters on 50 Shades of Gray, rape jokes, Chris Brown, and women’s reproductive rights). And at the same time, she opened my eyes to so many other issues I’d been ignorant to, often because of my privilege; the essays on race and entertainment were especially enlightening.
I only had one issue with Bad Feminist. In her last essay, Gay says she is “failing as a feminist,” and as proof she points to her desire to be taken care of, her affinity for the color pink, her appreciation for music with lyrics that degrade women, and so on. “If I take issue with the unrealistic standards of beauty women are held to, I shouldn’t have a secret fondness for fashion and smooth calves, right?” Wrong. I think this is one of the biggest misconceptions about feminism (and feminists are, admittedly, partly to blame).
It’s OK to shave your legs and like makeup, as long as you’re doing it for yourself and not because the beauty industry tells you you should. It’s OK to like movies or books that are problematic, as long as you understand and acknowledge why they’re problematic. Being a “good feminist” doesn’t mean hating men and babies, being totally independent, and not shaving your legs.
Being a good feminist means advocating for equal rights for men and women, calling out sexism when you see it, and being critical of media that promotes misogyny, rape culture, or domestic violence. In this sense, Roxane Gay is not a bad feminist—in fact, she’s the complete opposite—and I think she knows that. But good or bad, she’s still a feminist, and that’s a wonderful thing to be.
Rating: ★★★★★
Title: Bad Feminist
Author: Roxane Gay
Genre: Nonfiction, Essays, Memoir
Published: 2014
Page count: 336
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